Hey all!

I have decided to stop this blog. I have been working on this for a year but I never felt like I was doing what I wanted to accomplish with this blog. I wanted to chronicle my life as a writer but I'm not satisfied with my writing quality and my avoidance of talking about my life. I am also going through a lot right now and I need to fill my life with things that make me happier. And while writing this blog has given me moments of joy, it's also been the cause of major doubt of my self worth. The problem was that I had certain ideas of what would happen with this blog but none of what I imagined has happened.

However, I will be back, better and stronger than before but with a different blog. I've been thinking a lot about what I want and I've come to the conclusion that this just isn't good for me anymore.

Thank you all for going on this journey with me! I hope that you all have a wonderful year!

Reflection

It is easy
To be angry
At what you dislike.

And while anger can
Set one free-
Anger isn't helpful when the light
Struggles to shine.

Anger at my flaws
And submissive tendencies toward life,
Fueled my transformation.

But it did not hold
When my world filled
With shadows.

In the shadows
Where I lose sight
Of myself,

Is always where
I failed to see
The good in me.

Such hateful thoughts
are a nasty habit
That I must break.

I am not worthless.
I am not pathetic.
I am not a failure-

Despite what my mind
Would have me
Believe.

Before, the anger at
these thoughts pushed me
to change.

But anger cannot
Replace the love one
Needs to see themselves.

It is time that I
love myself
to make up for

All the love I should
Have known from
paternal blood,

All the hateful things
that were ever said
to hurt me,

All the pain
that did its best
to break what is in my soul,

All the dreams that
Will never come true

And for the ones I wish to
Accomplish.

I never saw my worth
And felt invisible to
the world that passed by.

But I see that I mean
something to many,
to the ones who matter.

So I need to do my best
To keep myself whole
and to strive forward-

And live each day as my true self
so that I can see the person
everyone else knew existed.