For a while, I’ve had one of the worst cases of writer’s block I’ve ever experienced. At least, it felt like one of the worst blocks…my anxiety and excitement for college to start probably has something to do with it. Every time I sat down to write, my mind would go blank. There were also the times when I would force myself to push on with the story and this blog but I felt that everything I wrote suffered. I believe that I write my best when I am inspired so I should have known that I wasn’t going to get anywhere. Even when I had the urge to write, my story dragged onward, my ideas coming in short spurts. Last week, I was finally able to complete the first draft.

Finishing the first draft always feels weird (this is only the second first draft I’ve finished for a book and, as a result, this might be subject to change in the future). It seems like I’ve suddenly let go of something…like something has been lifted off of me. I feel a little out of place. I was engulfed in the world I had created for such a long time that it feels strange not to be thinking about it all the time.

Then I look at my story and the first thing that pops into mind is, “What the hell was I thinking?” The draft is good…except for all of the scenes I need to rewrite…and the need to add or subtract different lines whilst adding emotion or taking emotion away…and all of the other mistakes that I have to fix. The draft just gets uglier and uglier the longer I look at it! I feel as if I’m dismantling and sewing on random limbs of some sort of creature, attempting to make something that resembles a living thing that I don’t know the name of.

After the shock of what I need to repair sets in, I begin to have a sense of pride. I created a world that no one can take from me! I fabricated my characters…and I understand them more than anyone else could (kind of like how your parents/friends/or others who know you well can understand you because they’ve known you for a long time).

Next, comes a sensation of overwhelming thoughts. These thoughts keep me from editing the draft but I don’t have much time for it anyway. I’ve been packing up my room and buying what I think I’m going to need for college. I’ve been imagining what my first day is going to be like (though I know that it will be far from anything I imagine…it will be better!). I have had both nervous and excited energy and, as a result, I can’t stay still! I think the only reason I was able to sit and write this today is the fact that I had tired myself from moving possessions around in my room.

I don’t know when I will next write a post (I might not have time next week since I’ll be moving into my dorm) but, I know that I will soon have some fun adventures to share on my quest to become a fantastic author!