The Fall

What can I do?

Where can I go?

I feel as though the floor

Has disappeared and there

Is nothing to catch me.

In an ever downward spiral,

I try to clutch at the shadows

That promise they can help,

But have no density to grasp,

Abandoning me in this fall.

The light above grows ever smaller

And I can’t help but feel like I

Won’t make it back up there again,

Because I can’t see this far down

And I don’t know how far I will be pulled.

Plans formulate for an escape but

I am too far from any walls

To stop the descent.

With little control left, I try to find

Another way but I can’t help but cry.

Every choice I make.

Every fuck I give.

I come to regret

As it brands me with a new criticism,

Another mark that I am falling behind.

I’m tired of fighting!

I’m tired of being the disappointment!

I’m tired of breaking commitments

And of hiding in my room so that I

Can’t hurt anyone with the spite I’ve built.

I’m tired but I can’t sleep when

My stomach is in my mouth

And the pain in my limbs

Courses through me like a poison.

I know this isn’t forever.

I know this will go away.

And I try to keep it in perspective,

But after four months

The mantras only echo.