It's bright
And colorful
In this world
That was grey.

There is a glow
On everything
I see
And I smile.

I am happy again.

The words appear
On the screen-
In a fast flurry
With a new idea,

A fresh start
For the bird
with broken
Wings.

But what is
Broken
No longer hurts
As the scene unfolds-

This fluttering in
The heart
Speeds to a run-
With each dialogue line.

I am writing again.

Looking out
The world seems
Grander than it had
In the desert,

But the mind
Had to be a desert,
For the strongest
Ideas to blossom
And allow a new life.

I am standing tall again.

I'm ready for what
Stones will be cast
Into the rivers of
The brain that reflect on
Oneself,

But none of the stones
Will be able to stay,
For they only enforce
The lies I told myself-
When alone in the grey desert

My world is now-
Coated in vibrant colors
And I am not,
Alone.

I never was.
________________________________________

Hey all! I hope you are doing well!

I decided to write another poem this week, mostly because I had a strong drive to for the first time in a while. In fact, I have even started writing a novel again! I am so happy to be writing. One of my greatest fears is that I will lose motivation to write and never get it back and it caused me to worry for weeks!

You see, I ended up in a bit of a slump this last semester due to significant health issues that would not let up (kicked off by a spider bite...they are officially my mortal enemy). However, my health was only part of it. I ended up getting bullied by someone and it really affected my mental state. It actually got so bad that I didn't want to leave my room at all and I was jumpy if I saw anyone show up near me in the hallways. On top of that, I was freaking out about my classes. I ended up behind, nearly behind, and barely on track in the three classes because of my health. I had no motivation to write anything besides dark poetry.

I was so happy to go back home when the semester ended. Unfortunately, my mood didn't improve much. I would sleep all day, stay up all night, and cry whenever I was alone. Every time my health seemed to improve, something else caused my body to malfunction and I was unwell again. I started to feel like I was alone, partly due to the fact that my lack of wanting to write also stifled my imagination (which meant I had very little access to my characters).

However, after months of this chaotic whirlwind, I was struck by lightning. An idea for my novel hit me so strongly that I had to start working on it right away. And then today, I put a blue streak in my hair (affectionately known by my family as my racing stripe) after not wearing it for a year. 

Suddenly, I feel happier and lighter. Even though I don't feel the best physically, I have energy and pep and smiles from ear to ear. I actually feel like I can handle this upcoming semester with enough energy to spare on my magical flare (a.k.a devoting myself to too many things at once but somehow managing to do it all in a fantastic way). Of course, I won't do that. Now that I am finally starting to feel better mentally, I need a break from putting insane pressure on myself!

At any rate, I am so happy that I am where I am in my life. Yeah, it isn't perfect and things will always be happening to me that will make me want to crawl under a rock. But I am a Warrior, a Wunderkind, a Dragon (because I'm fierce). I am who I am and I shouldn't feel like I am nothing because I am something to someone.

I want you to know that you are all very special to me. I may not know all of you who read my posts, but when I see the bump in page views or when I see comments and likes, it makes me happy because I know that I am supported. I'm not alone. I love you all.

Have a wonderful week!

Hey everyone!

It's time for me to post a new poem. I don't have a title for this one yet but I hope that you all enjoy it!
________________________________________
the trees
stand in majestic Beauty,
as the wind
Threatens to remove their limbs.

The trees
Hold the weight of-
Snow and ice
In a determined grace.

The trees
Stay bold even when
Their branches are cut
To spare power lines.

the trees
Carry memories in
every Ring, and in
every Name tattooed into the bark.

the trees
Clean the air-
like a Mother picking up
after an Unruly toddler.

the trees
Whisper, Scream, and Speak
for those who care to
Listen

the trees-
so Vibrant and Beautiful,
but Quiet and Lifeless
to those who only see in dollar bills.
________________________________________

I struggled to write a poem, mostly because I haven't been motivated to do much writing in general for a while now. I thought about what I like to write poems about and I realized that I haven't written one on trees for a while. As a result, I wrote about what I admire about trees. No matter what it is they have gone through or faced, they continue to stand tall for years. They always have a beautiful dignity and are able to adapt to so much. Then again, these are qualities I find I greatly admire in people (and in a lot of people I know). Sometimes, though, it feels like these people are overlooked even though they are some of the nicest, bravest, and strongest people I know.

I hope you all have a great week!

P.S. Sorry about the weird coloring. I was experimenting to find out which colors would be easier to read than the previous white I had been using. I wasn't sure about the one color I picked so I tried to edit the color. Unfortunately, it only partially changed. I tried to change it to be uniform but the colors are determined to stay as they are. If only the color scheme were pink and blue, then I could make a joke about fairies in the computer fighting over which color they think should be seen. *sigh* Anyway, I hope you have a fantastic week!

Hey all!

I have decided to drop prompt responses from my blog. I found that I don't really like writing in response to a prompt that has nothing to do with my stories. I don't know what I'm going to write instead. I've already tried a couple ideas but they didn't turn out well. Then again, I figured that this week would be tough for writing due to the fact that I turn 20 tomorrow.

I don't know why but right now, I've been having what some may call a "mid-life" crisis. I mean, it isn't entirely impossible considering I had one when I turned 16. Though, I knew what caused the crisis. You see, when I was younger and more foolish, I thought that 16 was a magical age in which I would be an adult. As a result, it seemed only logical that I would have a novel published by then and that I would be a famous and respected author. However, when I turned 16, that hadn't happened. I remember wondering what the hell I had been doing with my life. I would often cry over the fact that I didn't even have a finished novel yet (I wouldn't have the first draft done until a year later...and I am still working on that novel). Eventually, I got over it...for the most part.

However, I have no freaking clue what I thought I was going to be doing by age 20. I can only imagine what my young mind thought back then in the land of impracticality and mixed-up perceptions. All I know is that I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something that I'm not and so I feel like I failed in some way. I have never failed in anything though! So what am I not doing that is causing myself to feel so disappointed? I'm not sure. And it may not actually have anything to do with what I'm not doing at all. I know that I'm not afraid of becoming a year older. In fact, I feel like I would feel better if I were turning 21 rather than 20 which makes no freaking sense! So I must have some association attached to 20...I just wish I could remember what it was.

At any rate, I'll let you all know what I decide to do. I'm hoping I'll have something figured out by the time I post next week.

I hope you all have an awesome week!

Hey all! I hope you are all doing well!

This week I'm posting a new poem titled, "This Is the Time." It took a bit of time for me to work on it but I'm pretty happy with the result. Here it is:

this is the Time
I find Myself
outside of My Name-
outside of those around Me.

this is the Time
I recognize I deserve Better-
than the cold Words
I repeat to Myself.

this is the Time
I learn to Dance
among the Demons
trying to Take Me away.

because I have been Down
for all this Time-
Stuck in My emotions,
striking Me like a metal
stake through the head.

I'm tired of being out of Control
of My own damn Life.
I'm tired of this Cycle
of Poisonous thoughts making
Me drown farther down in the
ocean of My Mind.

this is the Time
I Stop putting Myself down-
letting all of My
Doubts consume My Drive.

this is the Time
I become Stronger-
so that I don't have to
worry about Falling.

this is the Time
I make My wings
and learn how to Soar
without the sun Melting Me away.

because I have been Down
for all this Time-
Stuck in My emotions,
striking Me like a metal
stake through the head.

I'm tired of being out of Control
of My own damn Life.
I'm tired of this Cycle
of Poisonous thoughts making
Me drown farther down in the
ocean of My Mind.

this is the Time
I recognize I have a Talent
that, while Others may have,
belongs to only Me.

this is the Time
I stop thinking of Myself
as part of the Billions
when I am not like Everyone.

this is the Time
I consider all the Good
I have Brought and will
continue to Bring into the World.

because I have been Down
for all this Time-
Stuck in My emotions,
striking Me like a metal
stake through the head.

I'm tired of being out of Control
of My own damn Life.
I'm tired of this Cycle
of Poisonous thoughts making
Me drown farther down in the
ocean of My Mind.

this is the Time
I stop thinking of Myself
as Less than what I am-
because I am something,

Great.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Let me know what you think! Next week I will be posting another prompt response.

Have a great week!

Hey everyone! Happy New Year! I hope that it's going well so far.

For my first post of the new year, I am posting a response to a prompt I picked at random. It's a little late but I really struggled with this one.

Prompt: For the past few months you've gone to bed and woken up bruised and sore with no recollection of why.

After setting up a camera in your bedroom you review the footage to find yourself climbing out the window in the dead of night, and returning a few hours later.

Here is what I wrote:

I wake up, sore and exhausted. I slowly sit up, grimacing every time I move. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Today is the day I will finally figure out why I am always in so much pain.

I open my eyes and look down at myself to find huge, purple and yellow-brown bruises all over my arms. I throw the covers off of me to find more bruises on my legs. How on earth do I manage this?

I get out of bed and I sit at my desk. Logging onto the computer, I watch the screen intently. The desktop loads and the mouse moves over to an icon for the camera in the corner of my room. A double click and a window opens up. I click on a few more items before a video begins to play.

I see myself go to bed. However, at around 1, I got out of bed and I stomped drowsily to the window. I opened the window by sliding it upward and I stepped out onto the ground. I can barely see myself walk away. I fast-forward through the footage until I finally see myself come back through the window at four. I closed the window behind me and I crawled into bed.

I stop the video and I stare at the screen for a while.

Well, now I know that I leave the house in my sleep. But what do I do when I'm out there? At any rate, I should put some locks on the window. It isn't safe for me to sleep walk around town. As I go to stand up, a knock sounds at the front door.

I run to the door and I look through the peephole to see a young man standing on the front porch. He is wearing a black suit, tie, and glasses. He looks exactly how agents look like in the movies! Of course, he probably isn't. Why would an agent come here?

I open the door but before I can say anything, he hits me in the chest and I fall backward.

"Ouch!"

"Miss Setter, you are under arrest for the murders of fifty people and for stealing money from multiple banks."

Murders? Robbery? What is he talking about?

He drags me back to me feet and puts me in handcuffs.

I can't bring myself to say anything, as if my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth. Did I really do those things? Was that what I would leave the house for? No, it can't be! I would never kill anyone! And I'm sure I'm too clumsy to rob any banks, let alone rob them in my sleep. This has to be a mistake!

_________________________________________________________________________________

This was a difficult one for me to write. I don't know why but the prompts I keep picking at random are always ones that I think I can't write anything for. I guess it's that these ones aren't in line with what I usually write. Or maybe it's that I am not used to using prompts and writing something based off of it. Normally, I just start writing something without thinking much of what I'm writing and go from there.

Anyway, next week I will be posting a new poem! I hope that you all have a good week!