It's bright
And colorful
In this world
That was grey.

There is a glow
On everything
I see
And I smile.

I am happy again.

The words appear
On the screen-
In a fast flurry
With a new idea,

A fresh start
For the bird
with broken
Wings.

But what is
Broken
No longer hurts
As the scene unfolds-

This fluttering in
The heart
Speeds to a run-
With each dialogue line.

I am writing again.

Looking out
The world seems
Grander than it had
In the desert,

But the mind
Had to be a desert,
For the strongest
Ideas to blossom
And allow a new life.

I am standing tall again.

I'm ready for what
Stones will be cast
Into the rivers of
The brain that reflect on
Oneself,

But none of the stones
Will be able to stay,
For they only enforce
The lies I told myself-
When alone in the grey desert

My world is now-
Coated in vibrant colors
And I am not,
Alone.

I never was.
________________________________________

Hey all! I hope you are doing well!

I decided to write another poem this week, mostly because I had a strong drive to for the first time in a while. In fact, I have even started writing a novel again! I am so happy to be writing. One of my greatest fears is that I will lose motivation to write and never get it back and it caused me to worry for weeks!

You see, I ended up in a bit of a slump this last semester due to significant health issues that would not let up (kicked off by a spider bite...they are officially my mortal enemy). However, my health was only part of it. I ended up getting bullied by someone and it really affected my mental state. It actually got so bad that I didn't want to leave my room at all and I was jumpy if I saw anyone show up near me in the hallways. On top of that, I was freaking out about my classes. I ended up behind, nearly behind, and barely on track in the three classes because of my health. I had no motivation to write anything besides dark poetry.

I was so happy to go back home when the semester ended. Unfortunately, my mood didn't improve much. I would sleep all day, stay up all night, and cry whenever I was alone. Every time my health seemed to improve, something else caused my body to malfunction and I was unwell again. I started to feel like I was alone, partly due to the fact that my lack of wanting to write also stifled my imagination (which meant I had very little access to my characters).

However, after months of this chaotic whirlwind, I was struck by lightning. An idea for my novel hit me so strongly that I had to start working on it right away. And then today, I put a blue streak in my hair (affectionately known by my family as my racing stripe) after not wearing it for a year. 

Suddenly, I feel happier and lighter. Even though I don't feel the best physically, I have energy and pep and smiles from ear to ear. I actually feel like I can handle this upcoming semester with enough energy to spare on my magical flare (a.k.a devoting myself to too many things at once but somehow managing to do it all in a fantastic way). Of course, I won't do that. Now that I am finally starting to feel better mentally, I need a break from putting insane pressure on myself!

At any rate, I am so happy that I am where I am in my life. Yeah, it isn't perfect and things will always be happening to me that will make me want to crawl under a rock. But I am a Warrior, a Wunderkind, a Dragon (because I'm fierce). I am who I am and I shouldn't feel like I am nothing because I am something to someone.

I want you to know that you are all very special to me. I may not know all of you who read my posts, but when I see the bump in page views or when I see comments and likes, it makes me happy because I know that I am supported. I'm not alone. I love you all.

Have a wonderful week!